It happened overnight. My eight year old daughter woke up with a lot of questions: How much money do you have? How much money do I have? How can I get more money? What do I do with my money? So began the conversations around regular chores, extra paid chores, allowance, and bank accounts. Honestly, I am making it up as I go along, but here's what's working so far.

Even intelligent, highly educated people can make unwise decisions when it comes to money. Every adult I know has either paid a bill late, lost money, bounced a check, given too much away, sacrificed health and relationships for work, gambled, overspent or regretted something in their financial life. No wonder money is one of the biggest sources of stress for Americans. Yet, many people don’t realize that money related anxiety is directly related to how our brains actually think, feel and operate. 

According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, in the United States women still earn less than men. This gender wage gap has been getting worse in recent years, with women making about 83 cents for every dollar earned by men for comparable work. This means that women have to work an extra 39 days to make what men do in one year.

Most of us grew up in an environment with pervasive misconceptions about money. Families tend to treat children as separate, different and in other ways that make the topic of finances difficult, even though money plays an essential role in adult life. There is also a common belief in our culture that girls and women, in particular, don’t have to worry about money as much as their brothers and fathers do. Young girls are encouraged to marry someone with money from the outset in books, tv ads and shows, movies and recess conversations. Barbara Stanny Huson debunks this myth in her outstanding book, Prince Charming Isn’t Coming.

SF Money Coach started with humble beginnings. When I officially became certified as a financial coach back in 2010, all of my appointments were house calls. I would meet with people in their living rooms and at their kitchen tables. Driving around house to house, dealing with parking in the city and normal household disruptions became too much. Looking back, I can see that while I did the best I could with what I had at the time, I was deeply entrenched in a long-standing habit of people pleasing and codependency (placing others’ needs ahead of my own). Something had to give.

I’ve been grappling with my home improvement want list. I’ve been living in the same house now for five years, a record for me. As you can imagine, merging households with my mother in law has been a slow process. I am very much a "do it now, closure, impulsive spender” type person, so it’s hard to wait. It’s really hard to wait. This year, we built a new office for me once my husband and I realized we could no longer share our home office (a bedroom) during the pandemic. I want rugs, art, plants and dishes for that space alone, not to mention many other empty walls and several large projects like flattening walls, landscaping and replacing the deck.