Love Languages & Money
Gary Chapman, PhD wrote a book called The 5 Love Languages. He asserts that the five primary ways to express love are words of affirmation, touch, acts of service, quality time and gifts. The premise is that in order to foster truly healthy and sustainable relationships, it is essential to know your own dominant love language as well as those of your partner, parents, siblings, children and friends. This awareness can even extend into your professional life and today, we’ll explore how each love language can affect your financial life.
Words of Affirmation – it’s free! Generally speaking, there is zero cost to written or verbal words of affirmation on paper or a digital platform. The potential financial impact is in the delivery method – words of affirmation people tend to love things like handmade cards or high end, personalized stationary and of course you do have to pay for texts and some email services.
Touch – it’s free! Healthy affection can be a wonderful way to show people you love them by offering hugs, holding hands, snuggling, doing partner yoga and giving massages. Potential financial impact includes beauty treatments, spa days, retreats, and expensive clothing, i.e. cashmere.
Acts of Service – it’s free! By the very nature of this love language, service, there is no actual cost in the moment associated with doing the dishes, preparing a meal, folding the laundry, making the bed, running errands, cleaning up after or other random acts of kindness.
Quality Time – it’s free but could turn costly! People who need quality time to feel loved enjoy talking, eating a meal, watching tv, playing games, working on creative projects, exercising, traveling or any number of activities as long as it’s with you. There is a range of potential costs associated with every form of quality time and these lifestyle and entertainment preferences are subjective to your loved ones.
Gifts – uh-oh! This love language is likely the most expensive of them all. We all know these beloved gifters. They can’t help themselves and not only enjoy but need to express or receive love through gifts. Some gifters are able to contain their giving or expectations of receiving to special occasions but for others, well, that just doesn’t occur to them. Overspending can be a slippery slope for men and women with this primary love language. They buy superfluous experiences, services and things as gifts for others or themselves because they express love through gifts. It is possible to reverse the financial impact by giving less costly homemade gifts and experimenting with other love languages.
How can you strike a balance with your loved ones? Awareness ~ Acceptance ~ Action. You must first be aware of your own love language(s) and then be curious about your beloved’s love language(s). Some people prefer to give one way and receive another, this is complicated stuff! Acceptance looks like practicing compassion, being present with who they are and receiving with grace. Taking action means letting go of past resentments, maintaining a judgment-free zone and keeping your side of the street clean for a sustainable financial partnership. A powerful trifecta in financial well-being includes a sense of humor, an attitude of curiosity and open-mindedness. From here, anything is possible.